Caveat and Disclaimer: Dan says from now on I need to run these by him before I publish! LOL!
Almost all of us love the good, detest the bad and avoid the ugly, I think. Good people and good actions make us want to embrace the human condition. Bad or evil people frighten us or make us angry, depending on how much power they have. But ugly often simply makes us turn away. We don’t want to look at it or even be reminded it exists.
The whole truth is, we all have some of these three traits. If we could look at ourselves honestly, good people are only mostly good and there is good to be found in the ugliest hearts.
All that taken into account, I think my husband is one of the best! He is a good man. He is also pleasant to look at. I am blessed with the good and he’s not ugly.
But even a good man can have some bad moods. He can be surly, sometimes for no apparent reason. He will lash out at the person closest to him. He can be mean and he can be ugly.
I hear my single friends bemoaning their single states but with a caveat like, “She must sign a pre-nup divesting her interest in my house,” or “I won’t put up with a guy who throws his clothes in the floor.” I think they don’t understand the commitment required for marriage! Not that there is anything wrong with having these understandings up front, but what about the next uncomfortable scenario?
Wedding vows are important to get us through the times when we are ugly to one another. “For better, for worse; in sickness and in health…”
It’s sort of like a contract signed with a business partner to guarantee one of you can’t skip out when stocks take a downturn. Because you are signed on for a certain period of time, you are forced to ride it out and you benefit when things look up. It’s a commitment for the long-term and it makes you work hard toward the success of the business venture. If there is a flood or a fire or simply a bad mistake by the company accountant, you work to fix it.
The analogy isn’t perfect because wedding vows don’t typically include a breach clause spelling out the repercussions of quitting, like getting sued for the harm caused the company, forfeiting your capital and so forth. But neither are the proposed benefits spelled out, such as a 20% profit in the fourth year.
Marriage is all done “on faith,” supposing you to be a person of your word. That’s why it is important to really know and understand the person you marry, perhaps to seek the advice of people who know him and know you.
What may be even more important is realization and acceptance of the fact we can all be good, we can all be bad and we can all be ugly. It’s part of the human condition.
Thank you for your insight
Hey, thanks for reading!
All so true. Like I’ve always told my kids as they entered their teen years and beyond: “Marriage is forever, so you need to do everything you can to make it SWEET, so you ENJOY it, not ENDURE it.” But, inevitably, every marriage (and every relationship in life) will eventually reveal those “good, bad, and ugly” parts of each heart. That’s where forgiveness and patience come in, I guess 😉 Becky Wright, http://www.InspiringHopeBlog.com
One of the best blog posts I have read! Great work.
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